I've got a yar in my eye

I've got a yar in my eye. It's leaking and the droplets spill over my cheeks so that it seems as if I'm crying all the time. Of course this is my own fault, the yar had been leaking for over two months already and I should have called a plumber to get it fixed. But I didn't. 
  As I went to the doctor the people on the street stared at me strangely. The doctor asked me how I was. Not very well, I replied, since I have a yar in my eye and it is leaking all the time. How is the baby-boy, he asked. Fine, fine, I said. Is he eating well? Yes, he gets breast-fed. And the wife, she fine too? No problems with the- You know it hurts some times. Can't you help me, I asked. He looked me up and down. Maybe you should consider sports, he said, it's healthy and you can meet people, make new friends, etc. 
  As the doctor was unable to help me, I went back home. How was it, what did he say, my wife asked. She was comforting the baby-boy. He was crying for some reason. He could not help me, I said. With my one good eye I looked at the toilet. You see, it had happened at night. I did not want to put the light on when I went to the toilet to pee. And as it is that I always pee sitting, especially at night with no light on, and as the yar is in front of you when you sit, I miscalculated and the thing got stuck in my eye. It hurt tremendously, I can assure you, and for a while I was not able to dislodge myself from the toiletseat and I cursed myself that I had never called the plumber to fix the damn yar.
  Later, at work, the yar was still leaking on my cheek and I had bought a box of tissues to wipe away the so-called tears. My colleagues asked me if I was alright. I said: no, I have a yar in my eyeball. It is sticking out, all shiny and polished, can't you see. How is the wife? How is the baby-boy? They laid hands on my shoulders. It must be hard to be a young father. Maybe you should take a day off, unwind, get some rest. And even the boss advised me to go home. Nobody said anything about the yar sticking out of my eye.
  So that afternoon I went to the bar. And people asked me how I was, how's the wifey, the kid. It's a good thing you came here, you can relax a little. And I was sitting at the bar with that fucking yar sticking out of my eye and leaking on my cheek as if I was crying.

30-12-09 4:00 AM

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